Notice

Photobooth: Make Out Party June 2016 at The Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

Check out some blasts from the shame-free zone, we just like you and really wanna make out with you a lot, and that is so totally okay, but here's the thing, it's pride now, and, things are a little crazy. So. We don't wanna just make out with you, we wanna make out with ALL OF YOU. Remember, it's time for the BFOS (boys from other schools) so get with the program Sunday night at The Eagle for a special pride edition of the MAKE OUT PARTY w/ the criminally gorgeous Tane (TUF), James Cerne (LA) and Bennett Anthony (men.com, Titan, too many porn companies to list). If you don't make out with all of them then I will, but also, I will regardless.

 

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

 

 

Read More

Mugshots: Dickslap Seattle, June 2016 at The Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

Thanks to those who braved the rain to come out and spread some love and appreciation last weekend for Dickslap, it's been a rough week for us all and to have our friends come together for some good times and dancing really speaks volumes and means a lot, we love you infinitely <3 

We are excited to party hard with you this weekend for Pride, come out, love yourself loud and queer and help us raise money for our community and Orlando relief benefits!

 

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Mugshots: Dickslap Seattle, May 2016 at The Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

This could be reaching out on a limb, but.... I kinda feel like... this last Dickslap was.... the dirtiest 'slap ever. Damn. Of course these pictures won't show any of that... but y'all got WET. I like it. Keep it going/coming. This Friday we're back and we got some sparkle power for you with SPRKLBB in from NY playing an all wax set, so strap on the vinyl and get into the, well, you get it.

 

Photos by Matt Baume

Read More

Christeene Will Save Us All. Feature

Written by Caitlin Donohue

I'm not sure what all to tell you about Christeene besides that she is an absolutely foul performer who is in turn, described as a drag queen and a rapper. I'll dignify the former on a generous day and the latter under no circumstances, whatsoever. 

Watch her live (and the point of this interview is that you can, on June 24, at Nark's Pride Friday event Gender Blender) and you won't feel sad anymore.

This week, in particular, has been the most galling shit-show of a train wreck that queers who live in the United States have had to deal with in quite some time. Anyone who does not believe that the correct course of action is to immerse oneself in the most blatant faggotry possible is not the change one wants to see in this world.

Because in Christeene, we have a savior. An iteration of LGBTQ id for whom the opposition, the indifference and the idiocracy just don't exist. She's a semi-naked, rapping (I didn't say she doesn't rap), shameless monster who tours with two back-up dancers named C Baby and T Gravel who seem to have missed the whole thing about gay beauty norms. And though she may embarrass the living crap out of you on stage and may fling a butt plug in your face or disturb you on a complexity of levels, that doesn't mean she isn't on your side.

We did this interview by email, and it may well be my favorite fake conversation ever. For the record, I sent her the questions before Orlando happened, and she answered them after. That time divide is apparent in this Q&A and I want to thank her many times for bringing it up to speed. 

 

CAITLIN DONOHUE: If Divine is the deity you pray to before the game, I think of you as the captain of disgusting drag. What other modern day performers are on the team? 

CHRISTEENE: Ohhhhhhh whut uh team! i would have some freaks frum all corners on diz team! Id have Tilda Swinton on da team cuz dat is one shapeshiftin FREAK! an i would have Angela Lansbury on da team cuz when she around people start droppin dead an dat would brang sum danger into da mix. Rick Owens would design all our uniforms duuuh. Patti smith would be on da team leadin da wild witch corner. my dancers T Gravel, Dawg Elf an Chubby D alwaaaaaayz on da team. i would resurrect da 2 fat ladies who cook to be on da team cuz dey would plow down anyting in our way, an i want Grace Jones as da quarterback haaaaaaaay!!! 

 

CD: Is shock factor your goal, or something that comes naturally through the art, in pursuit of other goals?

C: Shock factor dont mean shit too meee as a goal. if somethin is shockin u then dat means it has awakened somethin wild inside of u, something dats been dormant, somethin that da world dont want u to see. if u git shocked by somethin i doo then u gotta decide if u wanna keep eatin from dat buffet or if u wanna go back to dat nasty same same generic shit tha machine an tha man has been feedin u. Your choice. make one at live wit it.  

 

CD: I've often seen people refer to you as a hip-hop artist, which I find bizarre. How do you feel about that descriptor used for your work?

C: i hate descriptors an i despise bein put inside uh sum fuggin box so u can digest my luv. yeah it makes it moore difficult to explain diz shit to peeple, but if these people come out to a show, take it in on their own, listen too da music and watch da videos on derr own time....then they can fuggin come up with their own style of describing what they seein for themselves and roll with it. classifyin shit and servin that classification to other folks aint healthy. no one fuggin thing means tha same for a group of people. 

 

CD: Designer Rick Owens referred to you as his Beyoncé. Damn girl. Who would be your ideal human backpack?

C: Michele Lamy of course. aint a soul in diz world like Michele. period. an she tiny so it wouldnt hurt my back. 

 

CD: Your music videos are often the best justification for the "drag terrorist" title that's always thrown at you. What can you tell me about your upcoming video for "Acktun Toilet" you guys shot last month?

C: ohhhhh shit it is another fuggin wurld dat PJ Raval an mee created for yall. iz colour. iz da woodz. iz da birthplace. iz da mother. iz da mythology of diz madness an it iz uh SICK FUCKIN SONG dat my baybee Thomas Suire from da band INFECTICIDE made ferr me. He live in Paris. we are so damned stanked to serve u up.  

 

CD: You seem like you really have it together, so give me the Christeene take on some real life, actually happening to me situations I've been encountering recently. What should I do if my boss promises me a raise and it never shows up? 

C: we seein what real life shit is bein served with what happened in Orlando an how peeple choose to deal with it. ignoring dat LGBTQIA sisters an brothers have been attacked and murdered specifically....usin diz moment as a political tool...tryin to tear our people apart. AINT HAVIN IT. we are da makers of dreams an we shall not be destroyed. we are the holders of keys to da mind an we shall not hand them over. we are the color in your eyes an we shall not be blinded. Diz is real life. We aint goin nowhere an we shall continue to luv ourselves, our people, an we shall fuckin persevere.  

 

CD: You answered a better question than I asked! In other news, Nark is parachuting you in for Seattle Pride, a.k.a. the highest profile queer season of the year, and all the bbs are going to be looking to make a splash. Please give your best tip/s for high impact socializing. 

C: Jack Daniels.

 

CD: Who has been the WORST BEHAVED audience member in your performing career?

C: dat man who took my butt plug up off da floor wit a sad balloon still tied to it at Berlin Nightclub in Chicago and proceeded to suck on it like a pacifier RITE IN MY FACE!! Naazzzzzztyyyyyyy!!!! 

 

CD: I'm ill from this presidential election. How do you survive politics? How can we make it through this election season with the grace of Christeene?

C: stand by your gut. trust no one person or one voting machine. to hell wit da media. go back to da woods an find your people an educate each other. Speak your secret languages to each other. stop killin each other.  

 

CD: I know you're a Bernie gal. If I could give you a chance to perform one song for the guy, what would it be? (note: I do not have this booking power.)

C: i would enter da stage to 'The Music Box Dancer' wit a parade of chickens leading da way an den I would sing "Pissin in a River" by Patti Smith to my sweet Bernie xo 

Read More

Photobooth: Make Out Party SF! May 2016 at The SF Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

Your favorite party, 3rd Saturdays at The SF Eagle, is here to stay, which means you can be a make out ho like ALL. THE. TIME. This past month we were inspired be Keith Haring and making out in front of it, what's next I wonder? Find out next Saturday!

 

Here are the photos from May by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Photobooth: Make Out Party Seattle! May 2016 at The EAgle Nightlife

Written by Nark

 Oh Seattle, you sure know how to MAKE OUT. Here are your lovely mugs with some spicy Tom of Finland backdrops to boot, we're looking forward to mixing things up this Friday for more Make Out Party, it is PRIDE month now! There is also gonna be a PRIDE Make Out Party (yassss extra BFOS to make out with!), check out both event posters below, and enjoy your photos !

 

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Mugshots: Dickslap SF, April 2016 at SF Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

Oh San Francisco, I feel like every time I post your pictures I start with "Oh San Francisco," because you have just that effect on us- it's like "oh San Francisco, you're so fun" or "oh, San Francisco, is that where I am? whose fist is this??" Who can keep track these days anyways, with all these apps and stuff, but luckily y'all don't sit at home making fake plans with strangers, nope, you turn up get your beard rubs in person, and we love you for that. So what's next for us? How do we take this relationship to the next level? Well, you can come to the Make Out Party this coming Saturday to find out.

 

 

Until then, check you out! Photos by Cabure / Shot in the City

Read More

Mugshots: Dickslap Seattle, April 2016 at The Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

Things got a little hairy at The Eagle last month, dontchya think? Thanks for turning up 100 for my dirty thirty, and making it literally dirty. Now it's time to celebrate again for no reason other than booze boys beards and techno. This coming Friday is Dickslap with special guest babe Vera Rubin!

 

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Photobooth: Make Out Party Snacks April 2016 at Seattle Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

If you weren't hungry for donuts and faces before well you will be after these pixxx. Check out your spit swappin' shots from the last Make Out Party, and make sure to primp yourself for this Friday because it's the Make Out Party's ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. That means you have to work over time on the make out train, get to it!!

 

 

 

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Photobooth: Make Out Party SF! March 2016 at SF Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

 SF, I've said it before, I'll say it again, but you are the best. Once a month (starting in May) we get to all make out together at The Eagle on the third Saturdays, and that is basically been my life dream since I was a budding little fag. Isn't it yours? Check out these photos from March with hot Nagel 80's backgrounds, thanks to Rachel Robinson! So remember, Make Out Party is now EVERY 3rd Saturday at the SF EAGLE!

But what will you do until then? Oh, I guess just come out and get nasty wet with us, JD Samson, James Cerne and more next Saturday the 30th for DICKSLAP.

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Mugshots: Dickslap Fetish Phantasmagoria, March 2016 at The Eagl... Nightlife

Written by Nark

I gotta say, this was one of my favorite Dickslaps ever. Y'all turned it out for the Eagle's anniversary and for the fetish parade, it was so real and sexy, the vibes were butch and high femme and everything in between, and these sexy sexy photos by Rachel Robinson really capture that. Thanks to all the critters that came out and all the kinksters that flaunted their stuff, Seattle you're the best! So you gotta turn it out again, this Friday, cuz it's my BIRTHDAY party Dickslap, and we'll always be letting you in $2 off in your fetish gear, and there are plenty of other tricks planned for you, come spank me sideways, just, do whatever you want with me, I'm yours. And get your look spruced by Brock again in the barber chair!

FRIDAY 4/15


Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Photobooth: Make Out Party! March 2016 at The Seattle Eagle Nightlife

Written by Nark

Kanpai! This month we were inspired by the cuteness of Japanese to offset your HEATHEN SLUTTINES (of which we love endlessly). Check out your Make Out Pics by Rachel Robinson with a little Hello Kitty to boot. I'm super excited to be playing host this Friday for the next Seattle Make Out Party at The Eagle, I've been away for a couple months and left so many lips on untouched, that ends now. Come through for a photo and a free shot and some strange!

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

SF Make Out Party Pixx Part 2! February 2016 Nightlife

Written by Nark

Hey, so, you saw the pics from this last Make Out Party, but did you think, "hey, where is mine? omg I can't believe they CUT me" and then you went home and cut yourself? Well stop being so suicidal queen! We missed an entire archive of photos, all the make outs that almost got lost into the ether are now HERE.

Remember to come out this Saturday, because what else does anyone want to do in San Francisco besides make out with a bunch of hot strangers??

 

 

Photos by Shot in the City and edited by Rachel Robinson / Nark Magazine.

Read More

Pixxx: Dickslap at The Eagle, February 2016 Nightlife

Written by Nark

Look at that ^^^ See that? That's TRUE LOVE. Only the truest of love is found at Dickslap, and ESPECIALLY in big groups. And that will hold even more true this Friday as we unleash the first carnival of fetish and kink at The Eagle, come take in the sights and the touching and if you want to bring your own kink to the parade, LET US KNOW, send an email to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Gear encouraged, do it UP!

 

 

Photos by Rachel Robinson

Read More

Additional information